Beat a Cyberbully
Here’s How Parents can Help
provided by Joshua Caleb Johnson
While remote learning during the COVID-19 pandemic lowered reported instances of bullying, children spent more time online, and the threat of cyberbullying remained a constant.
“We are very concerned,” said Justice Eze, father of four, ages 9, 11, 13 and 15, from Syracuse, New York. As parents coming from a generation that grew up without the internet in their home, Justice and his wife, Phoebe, worry about the safety of their children and the potential dangers, including cyberbullying.
Their son experienced a smear on his reputation when his identity was used by a classmate to send a malicious message to someone. A teacher witnessed the incident and resolved the issue to clear his name, but he saw the hurt that can be inflicted by a cyberbully.
Technology’s ever-greater presence in children’s lives allows cyberbullies to taunt, harass and threaten relentlessly with just a click. Cyberbullies can at once anonymously reach their victims in their own homes via cellphone or computer. As a result, victims report feeling hopeless, isolated and even suicidal.
What can parents do to protect their kids? Taking an interest in their children’s online world can make a difference, says the National Parent Teacher Association.
This interest does not necessarily require parents to become tech experts. Instead, the federal stopbullying.gov site advises parents to watch for subtle clues that something is wrong, such as their child becoming withdrawn, hiding their screen when others are nearby or reacting emotionally to what’s happening on their device.
Noticing personality changes is key for Justice and Phoebe. “When we notice one of the children is quiet, we ask what’s going on,” said Justice.
Talking with kids openly—and often—helps too. “The more you talk to your children about bullying, the more comfortable they will be telling you if they see or experience it,” UNICEF says in its online tips for parents.
“We try to keep the lines of communication open,” Phoebe said. “We let them know they can talk to us anytime about any issue.”
“We eat together in the evening and have time for family discussions,” Justice added. They make time to play games with their kids and have fun as well. This helps keep their family close and Justice said, “everybody can openly address each other.”
The Ezes discuss the dangers of the internet with their kids and set limits. “They know not to start playing online games with people they don’t know,” Phoebe said.
They try to balance protecting their family with allowing some freedom and the children understand if they violate the rules, they can lose privileges. The kids appreciate that the restrictions they have are a protection. “My parents have set guidelines for what sites we’re supposed to use and what not to use so we don’t come in contact with strangers,” said their 11-year-old daughter. “It keeps us safe and away from people who would try to hurt us via the internet,” their 13-year-old son added.
Justice and Phoebe found videos on jw.org helpful for teaching their children about internet safety and bullying. “The whiteboard animations have been really wonderful for us,” Phoebe said. “The way the information is presented makes it easy for a young person to know what’s going on.”
The family uses the resources from the website frequently and recommends it to others. The advice their oldest son learned about facing a bully is: “Find an adult you trust, and they can help figure out a way to resolve the situation.”
Other tips and free resources are available at jw.org, the official website of Jehovah’s Witnesses, such as a short-animated video “Beat a Bully Without Using Your Fists.”
For More Information
Watch the animated video: How to defend yourself without landing a single blow.
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