Using Emotional Intelligence to find our Soul Mate
by Tyrone Dixon
Copyright © July 2018
All Rights Reserved.
Translated into Spanish by: Nina Vergara
When it comes to romance many of us struggle with finding our soul mate. There are many variables to consider when discussing romantic relationships, and why two people may or may not be compatible. Or why we just can’t seem to find the “one.”
The first thing I would invite you to do is think of romantic relationships in terms of it being a science, as opposed to a Fairytale, which many of us grew up believing it is. You know the “knight in shiny armor” coming to save the “distraught princess,” and then both of them going on to “live happily ever after?”… Right.
True romance involves establishing a deeper connection with your partner through consistent behavior, which allows trust to be present for both parties, and a safe space to be comfortable in expressing oneself without fear of retaliation or judgment.
Are you starting to see why you should look at romance relationships as more science than Fairytale? If not, consider this fact; 50% of the time when we say we are ready for our soul mate, we are not in a spot to fully commit ourselves to the other person (we may be unemployed, going through financial hardship, depressed, not over our previous romantic relationship, etc.).
After working with several clients on past, present, and future relationships I was able to come up with a list of thing we can look for in an ideal romantic relationship:
1. Ideal partner – someone who has developed the skills to be with another person, and work on themselves at the same time. Once we feel we have found the ideal partner, the remaining characteristics on the list will let us know if the relationship can be transitioned to a deeper connection (soul mate).
2. Maturity – is this person able to take responsibility for their actions? Or are they always looking to place blame on others/circumstances?
3. Open and honest – can we talk to this person about difficult things? Are we comfortable sharing our deepest secrets with this person?
4. Integrity – does this person’s words and actions align?
5. Does this person challenge us to take calculated risks?
6. Respect for our goals – one partner’s goals or life vision does not exceed the others.
7. Are they committed to understanding us? – are they aware of what we have in common? Do they have an appreciation for our differences?
8. Unconditional acceptance – accepting us for who we are, and a willingness to continually strive for growth individually & together.
I invite you to use this list going forward when you are working to establish a romantic relationship. It can save both partners time, prevent highly stressful situations, and most of all help us to avoid heartbreak.
Peace and Love,
Tyrone Dixon works as a Certified Professional Coach in the Syracuse Community through his business ArozeThrough Concrete Coaching. He was born and raised on the South and West Sides of Syracuse. He has a Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration from SUNY Buffalo. It is his pleasure to be a “writing contributor” for CNY Latino, and write about the topic of Emotional Intelligence (EI). He loves the City of Syracuse and believes that exposure to Emotional Intelligence can help change the direction of the individuals living in some of our “high poverty” areas. Can you imagine how much better our city would be if people were taught how to manage their feelings without hurting someone? Or if we could teach people to be proactive in identifying situations they are not comfortable in?.