Emotional Intelligence

Use Emotional Intelligence to Establish Boundaries in Your Relationships
by Tyrone Dixon
Copyright © November 2017 All rights reserved.

Boundaries reflect how we love ourselves and what we value. Knowing when you want to say yes to something, when you want to say no to someone, self-respect, and knowing when your own needs start and end are the basics of setting boundaries in our relationships. Most us have trouble with establishing boundaries in our relationships because it is not something we discuss in our society as often as we should. When was the last time you sat down with someone who you are in a relationship with and set boundaries? Recently I spoke with a married couple and the woman explained that there are times where she is not in the mood for sexual intercourse with her spouse, but since he is her husband she feels obligated to please him. That is a perfect example of not having established healthy boundaries in a relationship.

While I agree with the fact that a wife should look to please her husband, and vice versa, when pleasing someone comes at the expense of your very own agony it is not worth it. Because we are not having conversations that center around boundaries and self-love we put ourselves in positions where we compromise our boundaries to please others. In most cases our boundaries are at extremes, either we are hyper vigilant about our needs and wants to the point we are not taking other people’s needs into consideration or we are dormant about our own needs and wants, allowing other’s to assert themselves while we “go along with it.”

Examples of someone with hyper-vigilant boundaries in a relationship would be the man/woman who knows that no matter how many times their significant other says “if you continue to do… I am going to leave/break up with/file for divorce”; they know that person is not going to follow through on those words with action. Another example of a person with hyper-vigilant boundaries would be that person who is always “my way or the highway” uncompromising, and uninterested in trying to do things anyone else’s way. Dormant boundaries in a relationship could be nonexistent, shaky, and/or inconsistent. The individual with dormant boundaries has usually experienced a history of disappointment in his/her relationships, struggles with establishing connections, has trust issues, and is in a relationship for FEAR of being alone.

I invite you, the reader to start setting boundaries in your relationships going forward. If you struggle with setting boundaries in your relationships and are constantly feeling taken advantage of, start by spending time getting to know yourself. What do you like? What don’t you like? What are you willing to tolerate? Where do you draw the line?

Peace and love

Tyrone Dixon works as a Certified Professional Coach in the Syracuse Community through his business ArozeThrough Concrete Coaching. He was born and raised on the South and West Sides of Syracuse. He has a Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration from SUNY Buffalo. It is his pleasure to be a “writing contributor” for CNY Latino, and write about the topic of Emotional Intelligence (EI). He loves the City of Syracuse and believes that exposure to Emotional Intelligence can help change the direction of the individuals living in some of our “high poverty” areas. Can you imagine how much better our city would be if people were taught how to manage their feelings without hurting someone? Or if we could teach people to be proactive in identifying situations they are not comfortable in?.

Waiting in God’s time

Impact Your Life Positively with God’s truths

How difficult it is to wait for God’s time! Especially when we think that already, nothing is going to change. When we start to see things begin to look as impossible. When we are under pressure, when we are in the emergency room, when we are in need. We begin to despair and the whole picture is bleak. Anxiety begins to devour us. If we do not achieve our goal in time the enemy takes his chance and works on our discouragement until we reach the depression. 

Dear friend, remember that God is our Creator and has unlimited power. And God knows better than we do what is good for us. God asks us to have faith in Him and to rest in Him. We must take time to pray and to study the Word of God. We must congregate in a church that is guided by the Bible. As we devote time to God, He works with our situations. I invite you to try it. 

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There is hope after death

Positively Impacting Your Life with God’s Truths-October 2016

Greetings and blessings. In these times we see too many tragedies in the news around the world. These tragedies cause pain to loved ones, especially when someone dies. God loves us and He understands our pain. We are on earth temporarily. God tells us in the Bible that we must not lose hope for the death of a loved one because if we have surrendered our lives to Him, we will have eternal life after death.

Watch the story of Lazarus. Marta recognizes that her brother would rise again but not at that time. She had the blessing that Jesus raised him at that time. But she knew that at some point her brother would rise again. Then read part of the story so you can understand.

John 11: 23-26 Jesus said, “Your brother will rise again”. Martha said, “I know he will rise in the resurrection on the last day”. Jesus said, “I am the resurrection and the life. He that believeth in me, though he die, will live, and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?

Jesus told Martha that He is the resurrection and the life. That same hope is for us too. For everyone who has given his heart and life to God. That is a shocking news.

God knows we miss our loved ones when they die, but while we are on this earth He has promised us to strengthen and heal our hearts… Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. If you have not accepted Jesus into your heart, I invite you to do and you should start to visit a church that is guided by the Bible. From that moment you will starting to know many promises God has for His children. Until next time and the peace of God be with you and your family.

 

Positively Impacting Your Life with God’s Truths July 2016

Forgiveness!

Greetings and blessings appreciated reader. The truth of forgiveness will impact your life positively.

God forgive our sins through Jesus, we also must forgive. When we hurt, our self-esteem may be in tatters, but God wants to heal us. Psalm 147: 33 says; “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

Forgiving is the path of spiritual, mental and emotional release. The person who truly is released is one that forgives, casting out of his soul the past, the guilt, the resentment and the revenge, which creates bitterness in his heart, consumed inside and keeps it tied to past hurts and pains. Forgiving is difficult, especially when we believe to be right and a thousand reasons for not doing so. We will have to overcome many inner voices, the pain and the emotions that prevent us pronounce inside our hearts, one of the most difficult phrases: Forgiveness!

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Positively Impacting Your Life with God’s Truths- June 2016

Gripped by self-compassion 

Greetings and blessings for you and your family. There are feelings that can affect us negatively. Self-compassion is one of them. Self-compassion is extending compassion to one’s self in instances of perceived inadequacy, failure, or general  suffering. Kristin Neff has defined self-compassion as being composed of three main components – self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. Self-compassion keeps us stuck, without us being aware of it and prevents us to move through life and enjoy.

Self-compassion makes us focus on us in our sadness and the cause of sadness, in a way we started to see everything negative and suffer without reason. But, if you have Jesus in your heart you know that everything has a solution in His hands. What is impossible for us it is possible to God is God. God tells us that if we ask Him for wisdom He will give it to us. James 1:5 says; “If any of you lacks wisdom, ask God, and it will be given, because God gives generously to all without underestimating anyone, God gives us patience also through His Holy Spirit as we await the answer to our problem or situation”. Another promise of God is that if we trust in Him, we will feel His peace. Philippians 4:6-7 says; “No worry about anything; rather, in everything, by prayer and petition, present your requests to God and thank. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus”.

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Remain steadfast in our faith and our culture

Letters from a Lesbian…

Dear World,

Amongst political debates, bathroom debates, and everything else you can imagine, I find myself facing another medical issue. Nothing too serious. Just something that requires a lot of time, and attention. A condition that I have had my entire life that is now beginning to cause some bigger issues.

As I get older and tackle these problems, I find that I must rely on some kind of faith to get me through – that I can’t do this without divine intervention. Ours is a culture where religion and culture are one in the same. Our faith is so deeply in-bedded in our culture, you cannot separate the two. I’ve addressed topics of Catholicism and the LGBT community in the past.

What about our spiritual nature? What about our faith on a daily basis? What about our beliefs aside from the Pope and the church?

Faith and religion can be difficult topics for Hispanic LGBTs. So many of us were raised in religious families. Yet, for many of us, when we came out, our families and our faith turned their backs on us. That makes it incredibly difficult for us to try to maintain a relationship with God, to continue to follow our faith.

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Positively Impacting Your Life with God’s Truths May 2016

Jesus’ Humility

Greetings. I hope you can receive hope after you read how humility can give you peace and blessings. The first thing to know is that our first example of humility was Jesus. When we are not proud we allow God to work in our situations and our lives begin to be blessed. God expects us to depend on Him for everything in our life.

Biblical humility has degrees: first is the modesty that opposes vanity. At a deeper level that opposes humility to pride it is. Humble, then, which acknowledges that it has received from God all he has: “what do you have that you have not received from God? And if you received it why do you boast as if you had not received it? (1 Cor 4,7). The humble recognizes that it is nothing without God: “I can do nothing without Him.” But incomparably more profound is still the humility of Christ, who emptied himself to death on the cross for our redemption.

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