Emotional Intelligence and Soul Mate

Using Emotional Intelligence to find our Soul Mate
by Tyrone Dixon
Copyright © July 2018
All Rights Reserved.
Translated into Spanish by: Nina Vergara

When it comes to romance many of us struggle with finding our soul mate. There are many variables to consider when discussing romantic relationships, and why two people may or may not be compatible. Or why we just can’t seem to find the “one.”

The first thing I would invite you to do is think of romantic relationships in terms of it being a science, as opposed to a Fairytale, which many of us grew up believing it is. You know the “knight in shiny armor” coming to save the “distraught princess,” and then both of them going on to “live happily ever after?”… Right.

True romance involves establishing a deeper connection with your partner through consistent behavior, which allows trust to be present for both parties, and a safe space to be comfortable in expressing oneself without fear of retaliation or judgment.

Are you starting to see why you should look at romance relationships as more science than Fairytale? If not, consider this fact; 50% of the time when we say we are ready for our soul mate, we are not in a spot to fully commit ourselves to the other person (we may be unemployed, going through financial hardship, depressed, not over our previous romantic relationship, etc.).

After working with several clients on past, present, and future relationships I was able to come up with a list of thing we can look for in an ideal romantic relationship:

1. Ideal partner – someone who has developed the skills to be with another person, and work on themselves at the same time. Once we feel we have found the ideal partner, the remaining characteristics on the list will let us know if the relationship can be transitioned to a deeper connection (soul mate).
2. Maturity – is this person able to take responsibility for their actions? Or are they always looking to place blame on others/circumstances?
3. Open and honest – can we talk to this person about difficult things? Are we comfortable sharing our deepest secrets with this person?
4. Integrity – does this person’s words and actions align?
5. Does this person challenge us to take calculated risks?
6. Respect for our goals – one partner’s goals or life vision does not exceed the others.
7. Are they committed to understanding us? – are they aware of what we have in common? Do they have an appreciation for our differences?
8. Unconditional acceptance – accepting us for who we are, and a willingness to continually strive for growth individually & together.

I invite you to use this list going forward when you are working to establish a romantic relationship. It can save both partners time, prevent highly stressful situations, and most of all help us to avoid heartbreak.

Peace and Love,

Tyrone Dixon works as a Certified Professional Coach in the Syracuse Community through his business ArozeThrough Concrete Coaching. He was born and raised on the South and West Sides of Syracuse. He has a Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration from SUNY Buffalo. It is his pleasure to be a “writing contributor” for CNY Latino, and write about the topic of Emotional Intelligence (EI). He loves the City of Syracuse and believes that exposure to Emotional Intelligence can help change the direction of the individuals living in some of our “high poverty” areas. Can you imagine how much better our city would be if people were taught how to manage their feelings without hurting someone? Or if we could teach people to be proactive in identifying situations they are not comfortable in?.

My child

A MOMENT OF REFLECTION
by Lilia M. Fiallo

How many times have you told the child that you love him? Never; ¡I can’t say it to him! I was going to tell him; someday.

Do you still think? This is the moment to open your heart, tell him: “I love you so much”. And phrases like: You are a wonderful being; you are going to be a great person; everything you do has a great meaning for me, for your father and for everyone because every day you do it better; always follow the correct path; here I am when you need me, what’s wrong with you, why are you sad? Trust me, I am your mother; any doubt or question, tell me; do not let someone outside of me even take you by the hand; do not accept that someone caresses you; do not pay attention to anyone on the street; do not receive anything from anyone; do not tell your private life to anyone; do not take anything that is not your; when we go shopping or walking, look at things but leave them in their place; walk with energy; if someone on the street calls you by your name ignore them and always remember that I love you”. As a remedy, by teaspoon, teach little by little the precautions, risk and care that he needs to have outside the home. Talk to him about the importance of love, value and respect, that the divine creation has an order and that it never tries to pass over life.

Oh! Teach him the numbers: one, two, three, four, until you reach ten. The numbers are advancing in order, right? As the climb begins by the stairs to reach the top floor, starting from the first step, then the second follows the third and so on until reaching the top, as well as life with the passage of time, in the most natural way and without the need to resort to strangers for answers that he has stored in his head.

To lesser degree; irrational animals communicate and have their own organization. It is true. A dog was not born old to go back to puppy. It is a puppy, it will grow up and like everything in his time, it will become an adult dog and will have puppies. The ordering in the nature of living beings, by logic, has a sequence for its developments. That humans disfigure creation is another thing.

Where are the dolls, cars and stuffed animal for your children, when you go with them to the restaurant, shopping trip or supermarket? Do you need the child to be quiet and distracted? With stupor I have been able to see, kids that have a cell phone in their little hands.

Technology is wonderful if you take the proper precautions but if we allow ourselves to be driven by so much progress we forget the grave consequences it may have and its reality. The children depend on us and it is our responsibility to correct mishap for example putting a cell phone on their hands at such a young age. The health risks are immense and we know it well. So that a child does not cry and can be quiet in his car, a cell phone is placed in his hands. If cell phones emit high-hazard radiation for adults, how can it not be for babies?

Why, pregnant women should not use or be close to microwave ovens; and should limit the use cell phones, only for important and short calls, according to health professionals? The reason is obvious and well known but also ignored.

Consideration and respect for a child because of his or her age or physical disability is one thing, and another is, consent situations that do not help at all in the proper development of his personality and if they lead to negative episodes that will impact on his life. In the case of Andrew, the tender child, noble, easy to mold, who at three years of age was the victim of a terrible burn with boiling water that compromised part of his head, face and neck. This provoked on his mother a noticeable sense of guilt for ever.

The extreme protection of his mother, the early departure of his father when the boy was nine years old, and the little support of his older brothers, made him a fragile being with a weak future. No one cared weather he continued his studies or not and the only thing he did at his young age, was to help here and there in some trade, when he reached adulthood without any art or profession, he works as a construction assistant while the vice for beer consumes him. Although he is a man who lived in a humble and healthy environment, at the death of his mother, he let himself be carried away by terrible emotional situation that surrounded him, his self-esteem hits bottom and there is no human power to take him out of that state.

Why, for countless decades, have there been and currently are many young people who are not yet fourteen years old and are inmates in reformatories for criminal offenses?

We adults are very guilty, because we ignore many responsibilities towards children; we do not dedicate time, we give them pleasure in everything material and we accept unhealthy situations, perhaps, for no stopping to analyze the possible consequences. We do not need technology or artificial intelligence –AI-, to help build a spiritually and morally better world. The young people need us and I have proved it!.

I confess as a personal satisfaction, that it is a pleasure to talk with children and young people about elementary topics, which fascinates me to share. I am filled with joy when I remember that here has not been a child who has rejected my talk and what is better is that parents approach me to talk to their children, as if they knew me, a situation that has happened to me several times.

An example of this was last Sunday when I was lining up in a restaurant and in front of me was a father of a family with his son of approximately nine year of age. The man turned to look as if wanting to find someone to listen to him since he was at crossroads, not knowing what to say to his child. The line was long so his wife and daughter were looking at the show cases of the next store. He turned to me smiling and in front of the child said: “Imagine that I took my child to see a movie and I did not see the billboard and I was wrong, we stayed until the end and my son came out upset because that was not the movie he wanted to see. At that comment, I thought for a few seconds and quietly said to the two: “well, in life we all made mistakes at some time, and looking at the child, I said: but you know something?, you have not noticed the great treasure you have…, -the boy looked at me expectantly-, you are lucky that you have not even thought about it…, yes, look at your dad, you have the happiness of having your father, the column of steel where you can lean on; how many children do not have a father? My nephew lost his father when he was a child and I do not even know what to tell him…, it was terrible. (There was no point in telling him more”)”.

The great thing was that the boy instantly changed his attitude towards his father and I imagine he had to keep thinking.

Before leaving your children money and material inheritance, give them spiritual wealth, virtues and moral values, which as a legacy, they will preserve forever.

Lilia M. Fiallo was born in Bogotá, Colombia, where, between tasks and free time, she found a place to write about subjects, somehow forgotten by others. With gold letters engraved in her memory, she began her working life, in the heart of the technical part, of the air traffic control of her native country. In the midst of aeronautical phraseology and codes, the world of aviation gave her one of the highest experiences, because of the precision required by this craft, where a single mistake could cost many lives. It is there, where in her concern to communicate her ideas, she begins to write with dedication, themes a little relegated by society, the Church and the State. Discovering a truth that nobody wants to talk about, but much more real and everyday, than it seems. It is thus, as it appears, her first work, “Parir por parir”.
You can find her book at for sale in Amazon.

Does God Know YOU?

by Juan Ocasio Borrero

Have you ever been approached by a person, church, or religious website and were asked this question: “Do you know God?”. What was your answer? Did you provide a heart-felt explanation of your belief and knowledge about the Almighty, or did you dismiss the question off your mind?

Most people who confess to be Christian might have a definite answer about what they believe about God, His Son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. They might also respond that they attend religious services or go to church regularly. Nevertheless, in the walk of every Christian, this question have captured the thoughts of sincere worshippers about how much our God knows about us.

Does it sound logical to ask ourselves if God knows us? We were educated to know that our Creator is Almighty, All-Knowing, eternal, and loving. After all, we know that “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16)

However, an honest analysis about God’s knowledge about you and me will increase our love towards Him and our perception of His care in our daily lives and eternal future. Let’s see a few key Bible verses that tell us about how well God knows us.

Jeremiah 1:5: “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou came forth out of the womb I sanctified thee a prophet unto the nations.” The prophet Jeremiah wrote under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit that in such a special manner the Lord Almighty can use His immense power to see the future of His human creation, bless and anoint those who will serve Him with a whole heart. Also, prior to our own conception, God already knew every single sequence of events that preclude our own formation. See what David, the second king of Israel said in Psalm 139:14-16:

“I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest part of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being imperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.”

Can you imagine or understand the complexities about our own body, the uniqueness of our own mind, the DNA, and the personality? Only God can. He created each one of us to His likeness (Genesis 1:26, 27). Before any cell was created, the Lord designed meticulously every part, everything about you and I was ‘written’ or planned in His mind (His awesome book of wisdom and unsearchable knowledge). How wonderful is to not just understand but really appreciate how well He knows us and cares for us in such a special way! No wonder why God sent Christ Jesus to rescue us from sin and death (Romans 5:12, 6:23).

Jesus Christ came to the world by the love of God towards mankind and preached the Gospel, or Good News, of the Kingdom of God (Matthew 6:33, 24:14, 28:19,20). He showed such care that he healed the sick, resurrected the dead, fed multitudes, taught the truths about God’s love, and prophesized about the future of Israel, the world, about his enemy, Satan the Devil, and the restoration of the Jews to God’s love through the new covenant through His death on the cross and the rise of His Church. Also, Jesus called in the Gentiles or non-Jewish people to salvation in His name under the same pact or covenant (see Acts 10:1-48).

Such was the care and love that the Messiah, Jesus, said: “…even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.” (Luke 12:7). Who knows us so well that even what we consider trivial is important but God alone? Can you now see with the eyes of your spirit how special you are to God, that He planned you and made you who you are, anointed you and dedicated you to do His work and praise Him, to live forever and never die or be sick, or grow old ever, under His everlasting Kingdom? (Read Revelation 21:1-4, Isaiah 33:24).

The Holy Bible is full of scriptures that point out about the great and unconditional love of God towards us. Open your copy of the Bible and read to yourself and your family and find out that you are never alone, that the Creator cares about us to the point to give His only-begotten Son to be saved forever.

Share the love of God to any person you encounter. The world is in such turmoil and disarray by being away from God’s love. All these things are pointed in the Word of God (Mat 24:3-18). But His loving purpose that everyone get saved through Jesus Christ’s perfect sacrifice must compel us to value God’s knowledge and care of us and share the joyful promise of eternal life in His Kingdom that will soon destroy sin, death, and the enemy of man forever (Revelation 20:10).

God does know you! And what’s best: He cares about us in such a way He deserves our prayers, thanksgiving, worship, and praise all the time.

God is amazing and worthy to be praised! (Psalm 63:1-8)

Note: The verses are taken from the King James Version, 1611.

About the writer: Juan Ocasio-Borrero serves a minister and preaches the Gospel of Jesus Christ in Geneva, NY. Feel free to contact us at thehouseofruthministries@gmail.com and listen to Bible classes in YouTube®: The House of Truth/Juan Ocasio Borrero

Live in Peace. Why complicate your life?

A Moment of Reflection
by Lilia M. Fiallo

Yes, there are good and wonderful people! People who give themselves to others without hesitation. People who are capable of dreaming, creating and living healthily, anointing with their good deeds the world that surrounds them. They always give the best of themselves; they are good by nature without flaunting material greatness, they are spiritually rich; everything they do and everything they think, carries its original stamp, these are people who, as if by magic, transform a moment of anguish into tranquility because their charisma and their voice break boundaries with their innate haven of peace and tenderness.

In his mind there is no room for resentment, envy, or revenge. What happens, happened and is forgotten, tomorrow is a new day, everything will be better and so it will be.

It seems that this type of people said: friends? Known maybe, let the water run. I am me. As long as I live, I will give my best, and is what, matters. When it I am gone everything will be different for now let’s live the true essence of life.

Those people who know that the passage through life is ephemeral, that living healthily and without complicating life is better and quieter, perhaps unintentionally, they leave a mark.

You can be without friends, without: -I like-, without comments; this assessment seems to be embedded in a square; it is NOT like that.

The true essence of being is there in the total, selfless and self-denying delivery, that condition that is sorely lacking in the current moments.

Thinking with a cool head and logic if before the communication was opened to the world through the internet, we lived with problems, now, the harshness and coldness of absurd realities is the order of the day moving backwards.

From where, from the night to the morning appeared friends? Direct entry in to the so-called social Networks, with friendships that we usually do not know with characters, suddenly fictitious, to whom we give all our private information in public from A to Z to realize late the tremendous mistake. It is like giving the soul to the devil ending with tranquility. Countless people who have a public or private life have fallen into these networks causing serious consequences.

It is better to think to act and no act to think. What is written, written is and although it is erased. It is there. It’s like a wound that healed but that’s where the scar was. This is speaking of us, and what can we say about our children who are not watched over by their friendships and the risks to which they are exposed due to their naivety and foolishness? Manu subjects to reconsider and analyze, how much do we neglect the tranquility and peace in the home?

Is it that the current moments are different? I thinks it is the man who has changed the logical rules of coexistence for their own convenience, cost what it costs and above all. Could it be not that all past time was better? I a way I say yes, because it is better to live in peace.

Lilia M. Fiallo was born in Bogotá, Colombia, where, between tasks and free time, she found a place to write about subjects, somehow forgotten by others. With gold letters engraved in her memory, she began her working life, in the heart of the technical part, of the air traffic control of her native country. In the midst of aeronautical phraseology and codes, the world of aviation gave her one of the highest experiences, because of the precision required by this craft, where a single mistake could cost many lives. It is there, where in her concern to communicate her ideas, she begins to write with dedication, themes a little relegated by society, the Church and the State. Discovering a truth that nobody wants to talk about, but much more real and everyday, than it seems. It is thus, as it appears, her first work, “Parir por parir”.
You can find her book at for sale in Amazon.

Emotional Intelligence for Men

Eight Emotionally Intelligent things Men can do Immediately to End Abuse
by Tyrone Dixon

Copyright © February 2018 / All rights reserved.

Recently, I had the pleasure of attending a Workshop with some extremely intelligent gentlemen. The workshop centered on what we as men can do to help end domestic and sexual violence, as well as address the issue of “toxic masculinity.”

At the end of the workshop each of us made a commitment, my commitment was to advocate on behalf of both men and women and not sit back and watch abuse take place rather physical, emotional, or verbal.

As a first step in the keeping my commitment, I present the following 8 tips, adapted from Author, Educator Jackson Katz’s 10 Things Men Can Do To Prevent Gender Violence:

1. Understand that this is not only a women’s issue! We as men can be advocates by speaking up, and confronting abusive peers. 90% of domestic and sexual violence is committed by men; chances are you know/have hung out with someone who was physically or verbally abusive. Speak up!

2. If you associate with individuals (friends, brother, coworker, etc.) who are disrespectful or abusive to females, don’t remain silent. Stop the abuse, and then recommend they seek professional help with dealing with unaddressed trauma in their lives.

3. Have the self-awareness to look at the way you live your life. Question your beliefs and attitudes towards women, without becoming defensive. How might the way we live inadvertently perpetuate sexism and violence? When you are able to take an introspective look at yourself, you can begin to change bad habits.

4. If you suspect someone you know is being abused or has been sexually assaulted, kindly ask them if there is any way you could help. Please don’t become aggressive/threaten to assault the perpetrator, this is not the support the person close to you needs in the moment.

5. If you are emotionally, psychologically, physically, or sexually abusive to women, or have been in the past. I invite you to seek professional help because you may have suppressed trauma that is preventing you from being your true self.

6. Be an ally to women who are working to end all forms of gender violence. Attend rallies and other public events to show your support. On March 23rd, 2018 Vera House Incorporated will be holding its “24th Annual White Ribbon Campaign” to raise awareness about domestic and sexual violence, this would be a great way to get involved and become an ally.

7. Educate yourself and those around you by attending programs, watching videos online, and reading articles about causes of gender violence. Understand that larger social forces affect the conflicts between men and women.

8. Mentor the next generation of young men about how to be a man in ways that don’t involve degrading or abusing women.

Peace and Love,

Tyrone Dixon works as a Certified Professional Coach in the Syracuse Community through his business ArozeThrough Concrete Coaching. He was born and raised on the South and West Sides of Syracuse. He has a Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration from SUNY Buffalo. It is his pleasure to be a “writing contributor” for CNY Latino, and write about the topic of Emotional Intelligence (EI). He loves the City of Syracuse and believes that exposure to Emotional Intelligence can help change the direction of the individuals living in some of our “high poverty” areas. Can you imagine how much better our city would be if people were taught how to manage their feelings without hurting someone? Or if we could teach people to be proactive in identifying situations they are not comfortable in?.

Insurmountable wall

A Moment Of Reflection
by Lilia M. Fiallo

The holiday afternoons of my father’s hand kept me delighted watching the fish and the pure and crystal clear water that ran through the stream that passed by my grandparents farm, everything is in memory as if it were yesterday, like his love, his nobility and the nights when we fell asleep on the sofa listening to the beautiful stories that my mother or he read to us and ended saying: “they were happy and ate partridges”.

So many memories of my childhood will last forever: “says Martha” we never went to bed without eating, his teaching made us grow spiritually and although we went through difficult times, we went ahead and like all human beings, each of my parents had their characters, but, what do I know, if I did not live with them is childhood? I´m not to judge them. I built an insurmountable wall in my mind and when I want I bring to my memory all the beautiful things that we live as a family.

I on the other hand, says José I enjoyed very little the presence of my father. He died when I was ten years old and his absence marked my life to a large extent, but I got over it when I stop at the memories of the moments we share as a family; for being so small, I did not have the opportunities that my older brothers had, his death took us by surprise. My mom was static, and to top it off, her fragile character was for my brothers a constant stumble who took advantage of her weakness until her death. They did not have the capacity to understand her, to love her and to value her. She was tried, sentenced and punished without reason. We all knew that her childhood who harder than my uncle’s, among other things, because my grandmother did not love her. My mother was tall, a golden spike, her beauty and elegance as well as her pure white soul made her unique. “I also took advantage of her love for being the youngest, how much I regret it, but, for what? Exclaims José. Why do we judge without having the right? Only God knows how much she suffered”.

For my brothers and for me, “say Juan”, we had a childhood with all the comforts; now that I am a father I still remember his faults, because parents are still parents and although their children are adults they did not ask to come to his world.

Why do not, you build starting today, (says Bob, the group’s panelist) an insurmountable wall, as Martha says? So that the past does not torment you, because you did not know, nor lived the childhood of your parents, it is a matter of reasoning and analyzing, he says. Juan was thinking, maybe reflecting, he accepted the truth and he did not say anything else.

My sister and I do not recognized what my father faced with his divorce and the task of obtaining parental authority for Kelly and me, we always enjoy his love, his affection and his tenderness, “Julia says”. He married again a good woman and I have two more sisters for that reason. Everything I’ve had in the life an maybe that’s the reason why I valued late my father’s unconditional love, who is no longer, nor will he be the same with me for the damage I did to him. I would like to reunite the family.

Luisa says vehemently: “Kelly judges my father because according to her she is right in everything she says when she remembers the past”. What she is interested in is pretending, social position and money, far from helping him economically or calling him on the phone, much less to visit him.

Eugenia uses her strategy to cover her perfection. Since she got married, we all became simply acquaintances or friends of the occasion. When she invites us to her house, she serves us in the living room, or long before our arrival she calls us to have coffee nearby. In her soul there is resentment, she does not talk to my father, while materially she seems the best. She likes everything brand and every year she changes all the lingerie in her house, say Luisa.

Kelly says, if someone delves in to the heart of each one, the only one who is really attentive to my father since he was widowed, is Luisa, although she judges him mercilessly, humiliates him and how many time she can, she brings to his memory silly mistakes of past, well, me too.

Julia, Kelly, Eugenia and Luisa, are sisters, married, have children, and financially established. They just do not know God, they do not know how to performance their role and they are the other group participants, who have spoken interrupting the conference since it began three hours ago and I think it ends at any time. Without the rest being able to participate, say Jose.

When there were ten minutes left until 5 o’clock Bob spoke harshly and here is a part of the end: “I have not met with infants, I think we are all adults enough to be here. I watched in amazement at the immaturity of some and the poise of other. I am surprised that many of you ignore honoring father and mother, one of the commandments of the law of God. Who are we to judge our parents?

What can we give our children if we do not know how to value our parents and what God has given us? I still do not believe the rawness and coldness with which some people area able to treat their parents. There is so much arrogance and human poverty in their hearts. Ask God to give you humility and simplicity to move forward, because many of you do not know how to love nor value the effort of your parents to give you the best. Do not expect good fruits from children, even more if you please them in everything and do not watch their steps.

I want an impassable wall made with love, humility and simplicity in their hearts. I want that from this moment on you leave behind the past and start to build the insurmountable wall that you need. The past is gone, the future is uncertain and what counts is the present. Let’s worry about ourselves and to solve our weaknesses so that our children tomorrow do not disrespect us, educate ourselves and educate them. “Let’s do the chore well”.

Thus ended an endless afternoon, says Jose when leaving

Lilia M. Fiallo was born in Bogotá, Colombia, where, between tasks and free time, she found a place to write about subjects, somehow forgotten by others. With gold letters engraved in her memory, she began her working life, in the heart of the technical part, of the air traffic control of her native country. In the midst of aeronautical phraseology and codes, the world of aviation gave her one of the highest experiences, because of the precision required by this craft, where a single mistake could cost many lives. It is there, where in her concern to communicate her ideas, she begins to write with dedication, themes a little relegated by society, the Church and the State. Discovering a truth that nobody wants to talk about, but much more real and everyday, than it seems. It is thus, as it appears, her first work, “Parir por palir”.
You can find her book at www.laovejitabooks.com/autora-lilia-m-fiallo/

Emotional Intelligence

Use Emotional Intelligence to Establish Boundaries in Your Relationships
by Tyrone Dixon
Copyright © November 2017 All rights reserved.

Boundaries reflect how we love ourselves and what we value. Knowing when you want to say yes to something, when you want to say no to someone, self-respect, and knowing when your own needs start and end are the basics of setting boundaries in our relationships. Most us have trouble with establishing boundaries in our relationships because it is not something we discuss in our society as often as we should. When was the last time you sat down with someone who you are in a relationship with and set boundaries? Recently I spoke with a married couple and the woman explained that there are times where she is not in the mood for sexual intercourse with her spouse, but since he is her husband she feels obligated to please him. That is a perfect example of not having established healthy boundaries in a relationship.

While I agree with the fact that a wife should look to please her husband, and vice versa, when pleasing someone comes at the expense of your very own agony it is not worth it. Because we are not having conversations that center around boundaries and self-love we put ourselves in positions where we compromise our boundaries to please others. In most cases our boundaries are at extremes, either we are hyper vigilant about our needs and wants to the point we are not taking other people’s needs into consideration or we are dormant about our own needs and wants, allowing other’s to assert themselves while we “go along with it.”

Examples of someone with hyper-vigilant boundaries in a relationship would be the man/woman who knows that no matter how many times their significant other says “if you continue to do… I am going to leave/break up with/file for divorce”; they know that person is not going to follow through on those words with action. Another example of a person with hyper-vigilant boundaries would be that person who is always “my way or the highway” uncompromising, and uninterested in trying to do things anyone else’s way. Dormant boundaries in a relationship could be nonexistent, shaky, and/or inconsistent. The individual with dormant boundaries has usually experienced a history of disappointment in his/her relationships, struggles with establishing connections, has trust issues, and is in a relationship for FEAR of being alone.

I invite you, the reader to start setting boundaries in your relationships going forward. If you struggle with setting boundaries in your relationships and are constantly feeling taken advantage of, start by spending time getting to know yourself. What do you like? What don’t you like? What are you willing to tolerate? Where do you draw the line?

Peace and love

Tyrone Dixon works as a Certified Professional Coach in the Syracuse Community through his business ArozeThrough Concrete Coaching. He was born and raised on the South and West Sides of Syracuse. He has a Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration from SUNY Buffalo. It is his pleasure to be a “writing contributor” for CNY Latino, and write about the topic of Emotional Intelligence (EI). He loves the City of Syracuse and believes that exposure to Emotional Intelligence can help change the direction of the individuals living in some of our “high poverty” areas. Can you imagine how much better our city would be if people were taught how to manage their feelings without hurting someone? Or if we could teach people to be proactive in identifying situations they are not comfortable in?.